Docu Wire

Air Canada Flight 154

I was boarding a flight in Edmonton, Alberta, bound for Toronto after a long day. As I handed my boarding pass to the Air Canada gate agent, I asked her if she was having a good day. Her response has been in my mind for nearly two weeks. She looked at me, smiled, and said, “All the better for you asking me, thanks.”

As I literally skipped down the jetway, I smiled. I have asked hundreds of people if they are having a good day. Never have I received that response. I’ve heard, “It’s ok.”, “No not really,” and “Fine, thanks.” But never, until now, have I heard “All the better for you asking me, thanks.”

Her response was gracious and warm. It wowed me as a Customer - giving me a very positive experience with Air Canada (even before I was on the plane!) More importantly, it made me feel special as a human being. Perhaps she was taught to say this by a parent at a young age and it was an automatic response. Even if this were true, her genuine response makes that irrelevant.
What would have been a normal flight was changed by eight words - eight words I am sure I will never forget.

The Internet Essay

Recently I read an essay from one of my favorite writers. Scott Ringwelski writes an essay each week called Positive Pause. Last week’s issue starts . . .

” No Problem…actually is.

‘ No problem.’ It seems natural, easy going, off the cuff, casual.

It’s a throwaway line for a disposable world.

However, how does your throwaway line and casual attitude translate to those you say it to?”

Scott goes on to say that the two words are actually two negatives, no and problem. Through a wonderful personal story he relates that rather than answering a request with “no problem,” it would be much more meaningful and powerful to say “It would be my pleasure.” Scott knows, as does my Edmonton friend, that choosing these words can make a huge difference.

Rhea

A few hours ago my step mother passed away. While there are many ways she blessed my life and there will be many things I will remember about her, the thing that strikes me now is one of her favorite phrases. “Terrific!” Ask Rhea how she was, and she, more often than not, would say “Terrific!” Even over the last few months when she was very ill. When you saw her, or spoke to her on the phone, if you asked how she was, she would say, “Terrific!”

Certainly in these last few months she hasn’t always been terrific, at least by most people’s standards. Her optimistic reply though, always lifted my day - even if I were calling to try and lift hers.

The Common Thread

In all of these cases, the words chosen by people have made a positive difference to those around them. As a consultant if I think about these word choices, I could easily make a case that using these phrases would be powerful in terms of Customer Service, and internal communications.

Most importantly though is that choosing these words transforms the people who say the words. Think about my Air Canada friend saying, “All the better for you asking me, thanks!”, or anyone saying “It’s been a pleasure,” or “Terrific!”
These phrases recast our thinking and our self talk in a more positive, focused, and accountable way. Indeed, these words can make a big difference in the lives of others, and in our lives as well.

The words do matter. To everyone.

Kevin Eikenberry is the Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group (KevinEikenberry.com) and author of Vantagepoints on Learning and Life. To read more stories like the one above or order your copy of the book visit www.vantagepoints.net or contact Kevin at (317) 387-1424 or toll free 888.LEARNER.

“They were not at all ashamed, nor could they blush ….” (Jeremiah 6:15 Amplified OT).

I think we have finally and forever fulfilled this verse. When I see and hear what is going on in this world, I marvel that God has waited so long to clean our clocks. I recall my beloved grandmother expressing great disgust at a certain ad back in 1958. Yikes, she should see them now–she would do double-time back to her grave.

The prayer of Ezra, the scribe, the brave, good, holy man who led a company of his Israelite brethren from Babylon to Jerusalem, prayed for his sinful nation, “O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to Thee, my God.” Perhaps we need the shepherds of our wandering-in-the-wilderness flocks to do more praying and less compromising with the ever-lowering standards of this bewildered planet which is sinking in strange theories and even-stranger practices.

The following is from the Biblical Illustrator, Author Unknown:

“BY WHAT WAYS [WE] COME TO CAST OFF SHAME AND GROW IMPUDENT IN SIN:

1. By the commission of great sins. For these waste the conscience, and destroy at once. They are, as it were, a course of wickedness abridged into one act, and a custom of sinning by equivalence. They steel the forehead, and harden the heart, and break those bars asunder which modesty had originally fenced and enclosed it with.

2. Custom in sinning never fails in the issue to take away the sense and shame of sin, were a person never so virtuous before. First, he begins to shake off the natural horror and dread which he had of breaking any of God’s commands, and so not to fear sin; next, finding his sinful appetites gratified by such breaches of the Divine law, he comes to like his sin and be pleased with what he has done; and then, from ordinary complacencies, heightened and improved by custom, he comes passionately to delight in such ways. Finally, having resolved to continue and persist in them, he frames himself to a resolute contempt of what is thought or said of him.

3. The examples of great persons take away the shame of anything which they are observed to practice, though never so foul and shameful in itself. Nothing is more contagious than an action set off with a great example, for it is natural for men to imitate those above them, and to endeavor to resemble, at least, that which they cannot be.

4. The observation of the general and common practice of anything takes away the shame of that practice. A vice a la mode will look virtue itself out of countenance, and it is well if it does not look it out of heart too. Men love not to be found singular, especially where the singularity lies in the rugged and severe paths of Virtue.

5. To have been once greatly and irrecoverably ashamed renders men shameless. For shame is never of any force but where there is some stock of credit to be preserved. When a man finds that to be lost, he is like an undone gamester, who plays on safety, knowing he can lose no more.”

Diogenes said to a youth whom he saw blushing: “Courage, my boy, that is the complexion of virtue.” The mind of Christ will give us the complexion we so need in these shameful days.

“If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.”

Anne Dudley Bradstreet (1612-72) English-born Colonial poet

My diary says that today is the Winter Solstice, the official first day of winter and the shortest day of the year! In the northern hemisphere, the Winter solstice is day of the year when the Sun is farthest south. However, in the southern hemisphere, winter and summer solstices are exchanged, so that the winter solstice is the day on which the Sun is farthest north. (So this may not apply to you!) For many people the Winter Solstice is heralded as a turning point, and as a reminder that in order for a new path to begin, the old one must end and that spring will come again. In many societies and religions, this turning point is celebrated with feasting and flames which light up the dark winter nights. It is a time of celebration for what has gone before and a time to look to the future.

Today I am keen to review and reflect on everything that has taken place since the last Winter Solstice. I have had an incredible year, both personally, as well as professionally, and I can look back at even my most testing times and feel satisfied that I have managed to get something from each situation. Sometimes it seemed like I was going backwards, but taking everything into consideration, I can see I have moved forward greatly. I haven’t done this alone, but with the support of the most amazing group of people which include family, friends, my trainer, other coaches, business and networking contacts, business advisors, and not least, my wonderful clients, who certainly keep me on my toes!

What about you? When you look back over the year, what do you see? Take a moment to reflect on what the last 12 months have offered you in the way of challenges and achievements. What were your greatest triumphs, your most challenging moments? How did you handle them? What did you learn from them? And don’t forget the small things that make up everyday living. For some people, just getting through each day is an achievement. Celebrate the little things as well. They may be small, but they should never be overlooked.

Did you actually have any goals at the beginning of this period? If you did, were they SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-driven? How far have you progressed? What more do you need to do?

What are the things that you find you consistently put off? Is there a pattern here? How can you learn from this? What do you need to do to break the pattern? Who do you need to get assistance from?

In the last 12 months, how much time did you give to yourself? Without allowing yourself time to recharge and reenergize, you will not be fit to go forward with anything. Like a rubber band that has been pulled tighter and tighter, something will eventually give - SNAP!

How have your stamina and fitness levels held up over the year? Are you full of energy, raring to go, or do you find yourself flagging? Adding activity to your day takes consideration and determination, but it can be done, and in very simple ways. If you need to make changes here then the first step is to look at your daily routines and see where you can add a little more in the way of movement and action.

How many times did you have that conversation in your head? You know, the one that goes like this “Why on earth didn’t I say ‘no’ to that? I can’t believe I didn’t speak up! I do this all the time. I am pushed to the limit and I still accept more work, more commitments. Oh why, why didn’t I say ‘no’?” Ring any bells? No? Good for you. Yes? We need to talk about assertiveness!

What new things do you do this year? Did you go somewhere you’ve never been before? Did you speak to someone new? Did you learn a new language? How about trying some new food? There are so many new experiences waiting out there for you! Go ahead, if you haven’t tried anything yet! And if you have, please carry on. Each new experience will teach you not only about what is out there, but how you respond to fresh and novel occasions.
So, did you write? Paint? Sing? Make music? Cook? In what ways do you enjoy expressing yourself creatively? How can you do more of it in the next 12 months?

Did you do something for nothing? What does this actually mean to you? It can relate to the monetary cost of something or perhaps the cost to you in time and effort. It is such a personal thing that only you can assess how you have achieved in this area. I hope looking back over the year gives you a sense of satisfaction at what you have achieved.

Kate Harper is based in the beautiful Highlands of Scotland. Check out her website http://www.harpercoaching.com

She works with people who are fed up with moaning about their lives and have decided to do something about it. If that is you, please take a look at Kate’s website. Her special interest is in promoting Wellbeing and Self Confidence through coaching. She is happy to work with people from any part of the world.

“The distance is nothing; it is only the first step that is difficult.” Madame Marie du Deffand

Take your first step today and contact Kate.

Inspiration for a better future lies in a secret experience from your past which will energize your present and clearly define your future.

You’ve been busy lately. You’ve sought for a new direction, because for the first time in your life you really want the years ahead to count. My hope for you is, as you read of my experience, you will be inspired to take a similar path and make your future years the most meaning-filled of your life.

In keeping with the biblical direction to “Ask and ye shall receive” I have recently given time to finding real meaning in my life, eventhough I should have completed this task years ago.

I’ve made an amazing discovery.

Your life, and mine, is filled with a series of what I have called Refining Moments. In the middle of these is one KRM or Key Refining Moment. When discovered this KRM brings a flood of understanding of the meaning for your life and enables you to release a special talent to be a blessing to others.

In my morning prayer time in the forest at the back of our home I had been asking the Lord, for some months, to reveal the meaning and purpose for my life. Once I was prepared to wait forever for an answer,it came. In a most unexpected way. Some have said that you should be careful what you pray because sooner or later you will get what you pray for. I did.

I was reminded of an experience I had just after my fourth birthday.

Filled with expectation my mother was taking me to the State Fair. A visit to the Animal Nursery was promised and once again I’m back there, getting off the tram, with a beaming smile, being led by the hand to the ticket office where my Mother purchases our tickets.

I can see the bulls in the main arena and the colored tents in sideshow alley. I hear the drums summoning patrons to new and exciting experiences inside the tents.

And now I see a group of kids. Some in wheelchairs. Some standing. But all with bodies twisting and twitching in ways I had never seen before. Noticing my rising alarm, my Mother tells me they are the special kids from the Spastic Center.

As she explains that they will always be that way I begin to sob. Buckets of tears cascade down my little pink cheeks as I think of their suffering. I fall to the ground sobbing even harder unable to control myself.

I feel a pain deep on the inside and I want to get away from this place. I plead with my Mother to take me home. It seems to take a long time but eventually she walks me back to the tram terminus.

As we begin the journey home one thought floods my mind.

I want to help make them better.

As I return, across 53 years of life experience, from my time of reflection on the past, I realize that my central desire is still to help make them better.

I havn’t done it yet but I want to. There is a fire in my desire.

I have been a bank teller, an economist, a teacher, and a youth worker but still I havn’t gotten started. I’m sad I’ve yet to start. I guess that’s a common experience for a babyboomer. However I am glad I discovered why I’m here on this planet.

In this Key Refining Moment I have understood my reason for being and the only action that will add real meaning to my life.

I have been inspired to fulfill my calling to “help make them better”.

You can have your own Key Refining Moment. In earnest prayer ask and you will receive. Once you’ve received make sure to follow through and complete your special calling.

You will get inspiration for a lifestyle improvement .Use your secret experience from your past and it will energize your present and clearly define your future with wave upon wave of meaning.

You will finally have an answer to the age-old question, “What is the meaning of life?”

Kenneth Little is a success coach and the publisher of a
re-released classic, in a revealing ebook, that will show
you how to get the best of health and wealth out of all
your future years. True success will be yours no matter what
your age.

Amazing “How I Became Young at Sixty” brings renewed
strength to your body, hope to your mind and increased
prosperity to your lifestyle.==> http://www.Young-at-Sixty.com

Observing a holiday now known as ‘Civil Rights Day’ I am reminded that it has been almost forty years since the Reverend Martin Luther King gave his last Sunday sermon. In March of 1968, Dr. King gave a talk entitled “Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution.” His point was that while we were living amid a period of extreme social change, many of us were failing to develop the new attitudes and mental responses required by new situations. We were, in his words, ’sleeping through the revolution.’

Does this sound familiar? How could this sermon possibly still have life and application so many years later- especially to seniors like us, living and working in Northern New England?

You’re probably not surprised to see that I think it is applicable to each of our personal ‘revolutions’ associated with aging. While perhaps the word ‘revolution’ most readily brings to mind ’sudden and momentous change,’ it also refers to cycles, as in a ‘revolution around the sun.’ Personally I think there are times that both definitions can be applied to aging. Some days ’seniorhood’ seems like a sudden and momentous change… while on others it is just another trip around the sun.

Whichever definition we choose, we would do well to stop and ask ourselves whether or not we are sleeping through the revolution. Do we age without consciously recognizing that it brings change, new opportunities and new challenges? Or, are we living in the past, sleep-walking through life, reading “Reminiscence” and pining for the ‘good old days’?

With apologies to Carly Simon, these might just be the good old days. Maybe we should all be spending more time looking forward to what’s coming next… savoring our goals, dreams and plans for the next week, the next year or the next decade. Are you planning an exotic vacation or expecting a visit from friends or family? Reviewing college catalogues or planning to learn something new?

What do you hope for? What are you doing to get it?

Lawrence Bienemann is the RSVP Program Coordinator in Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom. You can reach him by e-mail at lawrenceb@rcn.com.

We have all grown up in an age where exploration into dramatic new territory has become routine. We have had people travel into space to live for short periods of time. We have sent people to explore the moon. We have built machines to take people under the ocean to live and work. And we have even built machines, as extensions of ourselves, to go to places where we could not go physically and send back pictures and other data.

There is another arena that it is possible for us to explore - one that we can do personally. It requires a “risk taker” mentality and an adventurous spirit, and I want to give you instructions on how to get there. I am going to take you on a philosophical journey beyond yourself. This may seem a bit esoteric and mysterious, but humor me for a moment.

Begin by getting for yourself a clean sheet of white paper. Now, take a pencil and draw a small dot in the middle of it. For our purposes here, that dot represents something very important about you. It is the sum total of your entire life.

Now for most people, what the dot represents, and the territory inside the dot, is the most important thing there is. It represents their life, their understanding of reality, and all of their experience.

But there is something else on the page with the dot. Look at all of the white space. The white space represents your potential. This is where you could explore if you had a mind to. It represents all of the knowledge you don’t have, all of the experiences you have never had, all of the people you don’t know, and all of the activities you have never done.

But most people don’t ever spend much time and effort probing outside of the dot. Perhaps as many as 95% of the entire population of the planet are satisfied to live in their dot. Now, certainly, as life is lived, the dot expands some. Everyone learns new things and experiences new experiences in the course of their lives and this naturally expands the dot. But it is a relatively insignificant expansion compared to what is possible. For most people there is no intentional activity that they create to expand the dot. It just, sort of, happens.

But, this need not be the case. It is possible to blast out of the dot in every direction and create a life that explodes with new knowledge, relationships, activities and experiences all the time. But, it doesn’t just happen. This kind of life must be crafted and intentionally lived. It requires expending energy and effort, which few are willing to do.

Five Steps for Expanding Your Dot

So, how is it possible to get on this journey? There is a simple five step formula that you can use to begin this journey.

1. Hopefully the dot exercise has helped you take this first step. Beginning the journey starts with a realization. You have to realize that the possibility exists to grow beyond where you are. Once you realize the possibilities, you can begin to do things to make changes.

2. Realization means nothing if you don’t care. The second step is ramp up the desire to expand your universe. Many people are quite content to go to the same job year in and year out, then come home after work, grab a TV dinner and sit in front of the TV until time to go to bed - and do it all over again the next day.

3. Once you have the desire to explore new avenues of life, you then have to figure out, specifically, what you want to explore. There are a lot more possibilities than any one person could ever personally conquer. So the third step is to do an analysis and make a decision. Where is your life now and in what areas do you need, and want, to grow beyond where you currently are.

4. The fourth step is to make a plan. There are specific steps that have to be taken to accomplish whatever it is you choose to do. You may have to study or practice or work out or make some new relationships. In other words, you have to begin to intentionality figure out what you have to do to walk your new path.

5. The final procedure in the process is to work your plan. This is not a one step or even a one dimensional process. It will take time and effort. It will take re-evaluation and adjustments. But, it has to be played out in life if your dot is going to expand.

There’s the Door

Your dot is your life. There is no way that I, or anyone else for that matter, can expand your dot for you. If you want it to be bigger, you have to do the work.

There is something that I can do though, and that is to point you toward the door. It is the door to greater significance than your life has ever known. It is the door to more excitement. It is the door to more purpose and meaning. It is the door to more knowledge and experience. But, you have to walk through it yourself. No one can do it for you. You can get guidance, insight and encouragement from a lot of places, but you have to walk your own walk. Begin now! Expand your dot.

About The Author

Dr. Freddy Davis is the owner of TSM Enterprises and conducts conferences, seminars and organizational training for executives, managers and sales professionals to help develop greater effectiveness and productivity. He is the author of the book Supercharged! as well as the Nutshell Series of books for strengthening business. You can visit the TSM website at www.tsmenterprises.com, or you can contact Freddy directly at 888-883-0656 or davis@iname.com.

davis@iname.com

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5, 2004

I am a captain in the Marine Corps. A year ago my wife cheated on me with another Marine. He lived in an apartment facing ours, which I passed every day on my way to work. She was my girlfriend at the time, and she told me because she felt guilty about it. She said it only happened once.

She said she never talked to the guy again except to tell him to leave her alone. I married her even after I found out because I love her and because I feel everyone deserves a second chance. I hold a lot of anger inside about it, especially since I worked on the same base with him. He left a little while ago for another assignment, and the apartment is empty now.

My question is how do you stop thinking about it? I picture it in my mind like a broken record. I don’t want to keep hounding my wife over this. I want to get over it and move on. But I just get kind of sick when I think of his hands on her. I wonder if she will do it again, and I wonder if I am not good enough, especially in bed.

To be honest, I don’t know why she cheated other than she was unhappy about money and about moving to a new base. She stated she wanted him from the minute she saw him and he was the best looking man she had ever seen. I am so insecure over this it is unreal. I have never and would never cheat.

Monty

Monty, forty years ago Roy Orbison sang, “It breaks your heart in two, To know she’s been untrue.” Today Puddle of Mudd sings, “…have to find a way to take the knife out of my back.” Forty years from now someone else will be singing the same story, and it will sound like the same old broken record.

Even when you no longer see this man’s empty apartment, looking at your wife will be a reminder of what happened. The who, when, and where don’t matter. What matters is that no reason she gave you justifies cheating. What matters is that you rewarded the one who caused you pain with a wedding. Now you have made the pain a full-time part of your life.

She gave you a losing ticket, and you gave her the prize. Your anger is simply the other side of the fear she will do it again. You tried to avoid the pain of losing her, but once she was unfaithful, she was already gone. You needed to work through that pain and move on with someone who would be faithful. The title of Roy Orbison’s 1964 song, “It’s Over,” holds your answer.

Tamara

Rewiring

Our divorce will be final in five weeks. My wife blames me for everything which went wrong in our relationship, and I admit some things were my fault. However, in the time we were together she never once said she was sorry or understood where I was coming from.

Foolishly I still feel obligated to her. She calls and asks me for favors. She starts talking nicely, then tells me what a horrible person I am. I leave these conversations feeling emotionally and spiritually drained. I don’t want to say hurtful things to her, yet I need this to stop. I guess part of me still hopes for reconciliation.

Ozzie

Ozzie, your wires are crossed. Abuse and love are opposites. Once you uncross your wires it will change your whole perspective. It will shed light on new relationships as well as your old one. For the next five weeks, to thy old self be true. Once the divorce is final, change your phone number. Your wife has given you a great gift, the chance to discover what love actually is.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

These moments of awareness are powerful motivators. They boost our spirit and expand our view of certain joys we don’t have the chance to appreciate every day. They make you want to shout for more and they also rejuvenate the child within. They have inspired new dreams and goals, and made possible other options in life.

Are you one who finds it hard to be inspired? Here are a few tips to let in the “magic moment”:

Open your mind. Be conscious.
Kids have the ability to be aware of their environment. Everything is new to their eye. Openness is the key word, to see anew as if for the very first time. Food for inspiration is all around us, sometimes in small doses, and sometimes in amounts that are overwhelming. Let inspiration in. Let go of previous judgments, experiences, and values. Absorb the new spark of “sensation.”

Go beyond your boundaries
Are you used to your little routine? You may want to think about it. Push your boundaries. You don’t have to go to bed early every night? Do you? Why not experience a sunset tonight? Take a new route to work. Look around at the new development, wander through parks, or explore a new area. Really look at your surroundings for the first time.

Open your door
Go and find inspiration. Take a new class. Find a new activity. Engage in conversation with people you don’t know such as those at the grocery store. Go for a hike. Sit still in your backyard. When is the last time you went to a museum, or a rock concert? Have you ever tried to draw, write poems?

Keep it coming
Create a habit of opening your eyes for new things. The life force will bring you new resources to feed on every time you give it a chance. Spread the light. You might be able to inspire someone else too. Constantly being aware of sources of inspiration will feed your soul.

“Today a new sunrise rises for me: everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion everything invites me to cherish it.” -Anne de Lenclos.

If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favor and “pay it forward.”
If a friend DID forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting http://www.motivationalcentral.com/The-Muse-subscription.html or www.motivationalcentral.com

Comments? Ideas? Feedback?
I’d love to hear from you.
Tell me what you think!

Lynne Dean created Motivational Central (http://www.motivationalcentral.com), an online information service for seekers of general self improvement, in January 2005.

Being a simple government part time worker and mother to a lovely son, she welcomes the challenge to communicate and built a web site where positive vibes and motivation tips would be share to the world. A hobby it is, but what a fun and interesting thing to do!

How often do you find yourself saying, “No, I don’t want this in my life!” “This isn’t okay!” “I want this to be different!” when an experience shows up that has you less than thrilled? If you’re like most people, I’m going to guess, almost always.

This is such a normal reaction, because the fact is, we like feeling good rather than
bad. And with that said, there’s another reaction that I’d like you to take into
consideration. One, that might have you shouting from the rooftops. It goes
something like this:

“Yes! This is my life!”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Okay, I hear those thoughts running through your head right now. You’re thinking:

“This woman is nuts.”
“Why in the world would I scream from the rooftops shouting thank you over and
over again when I’ve just lost my job and I’ve got a family to support and a
mortgage to pay!”

Or

“Who in their right mind would get excited and be thankful when someone close to
them has died?”

Well, when you put it that way, you’re right, I am nuts! But what I really want for you
at this moment is to allow yourself to travel a little further down the road. You
know, after some time has gone by and you’ve gotten over the initial shock of that
‘less than thrilling experience’.

I would imagine all of you have been through shocking, personal experiences in
your life. And, when given enough distance from the initial shock of the news, you
were able to gain a new perspective, see the bigger picture and learn something
from it. You grew in a way that you might not have if you didn’t have that
experience. Providing of course, that you allowed the growth to take place.

When you allow yourself to accept the fact that life is not always going to bring you
the ability to grow spiritually and emotionally by only handing you lemonade, it
gives you the opportunity to dig a little deeper and ask yourself some really
important questions.

Some of those questions might be:

1. What do I need to know about myself to understand this better?

2. What can I do differently that I might have missed so this doesn’t happen again?

3. Who have I not forgiven in my life that it’s time I did, so I have no regrets when
he or she passes on?

4. Now that I have this opening available to me, what does my heart and soul want
to fill it with?

5. What’s the best use of my time so I grow leaps and bounds from this experience?

The questions are endless and they will vary for all of you depending on what life
has handed you in the moment. I invite you to love all of your life, because the fact
is…it’s the only one you have. And the sooner you can appreciate and honor every
aspect of it, the quicker you will be able to move from your, “No, no, no!” To your
rooftop, shouting, YES, YES, YES!!

Who is not selfish in this world? Are all of us selfish? Do we always think of ourselves first? Will you call me selfish even if I donate a large part of my earnings? When will you call me a selfish person, and when will you say that I am not selfish? For that which qualities are needed in me? One more question - is selfishness bad always? Could the world have gone so forward if people were not selfish? Selfishness and selflessness, these two words can make us think about our society, our values, the world in bigger perspective, and ourselves. Let us begin.

A family earns money first to feed itself. If something extra is left, it may give a part to the society. It is for the family to decide about how much it will save for itself first and when and how much part of its surplus will it give to the society. If a family decides to save at least six months expenses for itself and begin donating only after that, will you call it selfish? This is very subjective assessment. Am I correct? Another family, which has saved nothing for itself but begun donating, can call the earlier family selfish, and the earlier family can advise the second family to save for the rainy days first. This all sounds so confusing.

For example let us talk of two very good friends. One of them forgets to bring a very essential thing to the examination, say - a calculator. He/she requests the best friend to lend a calculator for the examination, but the other friend refuses. Which of these two friends is selfish? The person who is requesting the calculator after forgetting to bring it, or the person who refuses to lend it? How much for myself and how much for you? This question comes at a very stage of our life. For example- parents will not know how to divide if all the children want the same piece of cake. Every one of us has his/her opinion on this subject. It is our values and emotions that govern our definition of selfishness. Some of us may think nothing of giving away our life for fellow countrymen and some of us horde so much wealth for themselves that they do not know what to do with that. One can keep on talking and presenting arguments and examples endlessly, but no two persons will agree about this subject fully, because their perceptions are different.

CD Mohatta writes mainly on encouragement, business, love and life. You can read more of the author’s writings in screensavers, wallpapers and ecards at these links: Popular Wallpapers, Congratulations Ecards and Love Ecards.